SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
