Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
