i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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