There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
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She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize