Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
