You're my little dorito
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
