We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
