With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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