come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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