You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
