Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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