If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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