Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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