i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize