Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
