Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
