also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
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