sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
