what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
