I'm jealous of your bromance
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
