I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
