a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i've created a new STD.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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