When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
