I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
