this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
