my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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