I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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