forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
