sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize