If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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