Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
