I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
