those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
