we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
