So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
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I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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