Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
