The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
