I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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