omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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