ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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