Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
