So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
