life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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