During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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