Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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