She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
