Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
