can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
