Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
His nipple licking is glorious
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