There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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