pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
