you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
