I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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