I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My vagina just recognized that song.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
