well I can't set my house on fire every night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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