Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
