had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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