I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
