is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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