Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Operation Purity has been aborted
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
