yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
