His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
