Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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