her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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