Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
