My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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